How does one become the Secretary of the Minterior?

You are probably wondering "What sort of qualifications do you need in order to be the big enchilada at a mint company?" or "I wonder what it's like to work in one of those high-flying start-up mint companies?"

Well, for starters, I can assure you that most of you don't have the qualifications it takes to become a Secretary of the Minterior. You will need several years experience working in retail stores selling clothes and glasses. I spent nearly five years of my life selling IOU Sweatshirts at the now defunct Merry-Go-Round stores. Yet another couple of years were spent convincing people they looked nice in their new glasses. As a "Frame Stylist" I wore a blue blazer, and promised people their glasses would be ready "In about an hour." After a while I figured out why the line was "about an hour" as opposed to "in one hour." Oh, and if anyone ever tries to convince you to buy polycarbon lenses, just be forewarned that they will scratch if you look at them cross-eyed.

So what's my day like at ifive brands world headquarters? Well, it starts anytime between about 6:30am and 8am, depending on when I get up. I usually tune into the news on my five-minute commute. Our office is in the great municipality of Ballard; it's a Swedish enclave Northwest of Seattle. Ballard was at one time unincorporated with Seattle, but Seattle annexed it several decades back. Our offices are in the former space of Enterprise Rent-A-Car (yet another one of my former employers), which makes for some fun. One minute I'm reviewing our three-year financial projections, and the next minute I'm trying to rent Adam's new Honda Accord to someone who walks in off of the street.

My first stop in the morning is the local QFC Grocery Store where I get my cup of Joe and say hi to the cute blond barista. Once in the office, I immediately log on to Napster and hook myself up with some new music. This week I'm enjoying Styx, Billy Ocean, Kid Rock and Asia. I'll check email in the mornings and respond to all the folks out there who have emailed brett@peppermints.com.

I usually spend the remainder of my day managing our Food Brokers (Yuck!), Distributors, CPA, Bookkeeper (our bookkeeper Walter, is tres cool), and promotional partners. I also manage our accounting system, research new products, and surf the internet to look at other websites and financial information so I can learn how to do my job. Yes, life's pretty interesting when you're the Secretary of the Minterior. I hope y'all enjoy our products as much as I enjoy my job!

Keepin' it Real.

-Brett

As Prime Mintister I am incredibly powerful, feared, and responsible for several critical business functions here at ifive brands. I am responsible for managing public relations, marketing, art direction, product production, web development, IS, and internet sales.

Being the Prime Minister here at ifive brands is incredibly glamorous and exciting. It affords me luxuries most people can only imagine. I walk into a Nordstrom and sales clerks I don't even know are at my service: "Can I help you find anything today sir?" When I go out to dine at the finest restaurants on a busy Saturday night I am immediately put on the waiting list while most people find themselves waiting for their reservations. I am paid an absurdly large salary. I can get tickets to any movie in town at a moments notice.

I am constantly traveling to some of the most exotic locations in the Puget lowlands, staying at the only the finest motels and motor lodges while making sure that Penguins are being produced to my incredibly high standards. I'll admit I get kind of a thrill from knowing that when I walk into the office the clatter and din of daily activity ceases suddenly for my fierce temper is known throughout all of Western Washington.

I have immediate access to some of the most important and influential people in the mint industry, many of who I count as my close personal friends.

I still have to take out the office trash, recycling, and clean the bathroom. Drop me a line at adam@peppermints.com

-Adam

I am responsible for daily operations and logistics here at ifive brands. While that may seem mundane compared to the glamour of Adam and Brett's jobs, what it actually means is that I have the awesome responsibility of playing computer solitaire for 3 or 4 hours each day, without a single break.

How may you, too, reach similar pinnacles of career success and happiness? In twenty-three easy steps, just like I did! And out of the goodness of my heart, I would like to share these twenty-three easy steps with you, free. That's right, absolutely free!

It's that easy! You can email me at stan@peppermints.com

-Constance