Zap adam@peppermints.com with any and all questions you have regarding mints, caffeine, your love lives, Adam's '79 280zx or any other subject you see fit. Adam loves to answer any and all questions, although he's the first admit he has no idea what he's talking about.
Are we insane? Do you mean like Crazy Eddie TV's insane?"we've gone
crazy slashing prices"? No we're perfectly sane as long as we're able
to ignore the nagging voices in our heads.
OK, I have received this question many times and I thought I might as well put it up here.
Brett and I were in the midst of a martini fueled brainstorming session when the
product name Penguin popped into our heads. We decided on Penguin for several reasons.
1) They are cool flightless birds and we haven't met a person yet who doesn't like Penguins
2) They connote imagery associated with mints, cool, arctic etc, without being overtly obvious.
3) We liked the colors.
4) It dosen't sound like a problem that is solved by medicated pads.
Weird question, no they are not supposed to do that, I think you have too much salt in your diet.
There are two ways to go about doing this. One solution would be to buck up
and buy a twelve pack at the goods and share and share
alike. The other solution, which I'm not going to go into here, could most
likley get you arrested and locked away for a very,very long time.
We have literally spent tens of millions of dollars on the best minds at Epps
Place in Ballard, WA to assess and solve this doomsday scenario for us. We are
confident that we have identified the problem and when the clock rolls over into
the new year your Penguins will function just fine.
ifive brands consists of Adam (that's me) and Brett. We are two intelligent,
handsome and kind college friends who, fueled by our love of mints and desire
to be our own bosses, decided to start our own consumer products company.
We don't take too much seriously except for making sure our customers are
happy, having fun, and enjoying our product.
Brett looks a lot like Val Kilmer but better looking. This is unrelated to
mints, though, so let's get back to talking about important stuff.
We get this question all of the time. Penguins, like Viagra, are energizing
and stimulating. However, Penguins do not come with the performance inhibiting
anxiety associated with spending over $12 for one pill. Penguins cost only
a fraction of that and give you good breath to boot.
This is probably the most frequently asked question. Penguins are the best
tasting mints in the world for the following reasons:
Umm why yes... he is but let's stay on the subject here.
Yes, if you live near an Urban Outfitters, Hot Topic, Bed Bath & Beyond, Nordstrom, or some other lucky
retail store that has found out about Penguins. If you don't see them around,
you can order right over the Internet (US only) from our
The Goods page. If you
want a store near you to carry them, have them call us and we'll hook them
up.
Three Penguins have about as much caffeine as one cola beverage.
How powerful they are depends on how sensitive you are to caffeine. I usually
have about three every hour or so throughout the course of a day. That seems
to keep me awake and alert without the jitters and frequent trips to the
bathroom. You know yourself better than I do, so use your best judgment and
find what works for you.
Ordinarily, yes. However, there was a customer who sent us Russian Rubles
in the mail. Sorry, Vladimir, that isn't a convertible currency. It must
have cost you a fortune to send us that cash. The Ruble equivalent of
$29.95 weighed in at about 57 kilos on our scale. US Funds only please,
and no cash, only checks.
Another very common question. We think the reason your sex life improved is
because of the way you are using them. An e-mail recently circulated from a man who
claimed his sex life was enhanced by using a brand of mints
made in Britain. Penguins work the same way, without the inconvenience of
a sour aftertaste. This sour taste is
caused by animal byproducts (horse hooves anyone?) and sugar -two
ingredients you fortunately won't find in Penguins.
Those are different species of Penguins. We decided the paper needed to be
both functional and interesting. See if other people can detect the theme
behind it. Only about 1/8 of the population knows what all those names mean.
Huh? Why do I get questions like this? I don't know but, being a fan of
sequels, I sure hope so.
Running this business doesn't leave us much spare time, but when we do
have free time we design suspension bridges, write operas, work with
underprivileged children, dabble in quantum physics, work on developing
a mass transit system for Seattle (which desperately needs one), market
our solution to the Y2K problem, and watch plenty of NASCAR Winston Cup
Racing.
Because you have great breath and you are fully energized.
Perhaps, but we would need to do it before the new millennium because as
soon as the clock strikes 11:59 on December 31st, 1999, we will be long
gone to our underground fortified retreat in Eastern Washington.
Although we have had a few requests to add sugar to out caffeinated mints, we have not
yet decided whether or not we are going to make them. Probably not. Many of
the dentists we have consulted have told us that eating mints with sugar in
them will strip the enamel off of teeth about three times as fast as chewing
on ice.
Ron, we consulted our corporate dentists, and here's what the expert says:
Your rotting teeth could be attributed to many factors. Perhaps you are not
brushing and flossing properly. This, paired with regular
consumption of coffee and cigarettes, can be damaging to your teeth. More
than likely, though, you are chewing on too many mints that have sugar and
ground up horse hooves in them. Sugar will rot your teeth; horse hooves will
ruin your social life.
Our dentist's unbiased recommendation is that you switch to Penguin
Caffeinated Peppermints. They will be better for your teeth and enhance your
performance (both at work and play). Also, start brushing and flossing daily!
Tara, Peoria AZ
Pam, Wash. DC
Lisa & Owen, Leominster MA
Helen, San Francisco CA
Greg Albuquerque, NM
Jill, Purdy, WA
Jill, Purdy, WA
Hugh, Los Angles, CA
James, NY,NY
Jill, Purdy, WA
Devon, Houston, TX
Howie, Seattle, WA
anonymous
Stacey, New Orleans, LA
Ted, Miami, FL
Nikki, Los Angeles, CA
Glenn, Pittsburgh, PA
Ted, Atlanta, GA
Rachael, Denver, CO
Louis, Chicago, IL
Ron, London, UK
Tara, Peoria AZ

Pam, Wash DC.

Lisa & Owen, Leominster MA

Helen, San Francisco CA

Greg Albuquerque, NM

Jill, Purdy, WA

Jill, Purdy, WA

Hugh, Los Angles, CA

James, NY,NY
Jill, Purdy, WA

Devon, Houston, TX

Howie, Seattle, WA


Stacey, New Orleans, LA

Ted, Miami, FL

Nikki, Los Angeles, CA

Glenn, Pittsburgh, PA

Ted, Atlanta, GA

Rachael, Denver, CO

Louis, Chicago, IL

Ron, London, UK

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